The rose-colored glasses are off.

Nearly two weeks before Rachel Lindsay‘s husband Bryan Abasolo filed for divorce, the former The Bachelorette star shared insight into their four-year marriage, admitting that their work schedules often conflict.

“Bryan and I live totally different lives,” Rachel said on Dec. 21 episode of fellow Bachelor Nation star Nick Viall‘s The Viall Files podcast, explaining why she and Bryan rarely post about their relationship on social media. “We’re just in two totally different places, so there’s not a lot of time to take pictures of each other and show what we’re doing.”

Another reason why Rachel became so private about her marriage? “I did that because people were so critical to us when we came off the show,” said the 38-year-old, who met and got engaged to Bryan during the 2017 season of The Bachelorette. “I just was like, ‘I just want to keep this for ourselves.’ So, when I want to share something, I do.”

As Rachel noted, “Marriage has its ups and downs, but you never know when we’re good or when we’re not because we really just don’t put it out there. That’s just kind of always been us.”