Tom Green’s bafflingly stupid and admittedly “disjointed” Freddy Got Fingered is regarded as one of the worst cinematic atrocities ever staged. And despite all the criticism he absorbed, there was one unlikely man who still championed him. The same man who awarded his movie zero stars out of four, Roger Ebert. Full of disgusting scenes pieced together without any semblance of a meaningful or engaging plot, not even fans of The Tom Green Show could wrap their minds around it. The Canadian’s mainstream directing career was over as soon as it began.
20-something years following that dismal experience, he revealed a dire but all-too-common story, the “uncut” version fatefully derailed in post-production. Green’s movie career never recovered post-2001, the provocateur easing into the goofy uncle of the comedy community in the podcast era. In one such interview, he quietly dropped a bombshell, explaining how his dream movie was taken away from him at the last second. New Regency Productions, in a bid to protect their $18 million investment, chose not to listen to their wunderkind but to random strangers. Turns out Ridley Scott and Tom Green have a lot in common.

If a Film Flops in an Empty Theater, Does Anyone Hear It?

A staple on MTV and a fan-favorite among Millennial slackers, film work was inevitable for Tom Green. Starring Green and Rip Torn, with cameos by Drew Barrymore, his star vehicle failed to connect with audiences. Critics savaged the script, the trainwreck only avoiding dominating every “worst movies of all time” list because so few people had the nerve to endure it.
One such hater included Chicago Sun-Times film columnist, Roger Ebert, of Siskel and Ebert fame. When Freddy Got Fingered hit theaters, Ebert labeled it “a vomitorium consisting of 93 minutes of Tom Green doing things that a geek in a carnival sideshow would turn down.” This take set the tone for a quarter-century, Green’s movie long since regarded as an intentionally aimless joke made by a prankster drunk with power and who possessed no grasp of storytelling. In truth, it was the exact opposite. We’ll get to that plot twist shortly.

Related

Two Jason Statham Movies Made It Onto Roger Ebert’s Most Hated Action Movies List

Jason Statham is without-a-doubt one of Hollywood’s most beloved action heroes, yet the actor’s charisma couldn’t save him from Roger Ebert’s wrath.

A Film So Jarring It Befuddled Roger Ebert

For the record, Green stated Freddy Got Fingered wasn’t a bomb and that younger fans bought tickets to PG Crocodile Dundee III in order to sneak into the theater and gain access to his R-rated film instead. Sure, buddy. Green’s brand of comedy never caught on, but he did leave an impression. A year later, reviewing Green’s sanitized follow-up, the 2002 comedy Stealing Harvard, Roger Ebert offered a belated if cryptic compliment. Busy admonishing Green’s current endeavor, Ebert admitted that there was something about Green’s first foray that belied his unique comedic sensibilities and hinted at his true potential:

“But the thing is, I remember “Freddy Got Fingered” more than a year later. I refer to it sometimes. It is a milestone. And for all its sins, it was at least an ambitious movie, a go-for-broke attempt to accomplish something. It failed, but it has not left me convinced that Tom Green doesn’t have good work in him. Anyone with his nerve and total lack of taste is sooner or later going to make a movie worth seeing.”

In the 2001 review, Ebert likewise jokingly suggested that “the day may come when Freddy Got Fingered is seen as a milestone of neo-surrealism.” This is the first and last time anyone will ever lump together Tom Green and Luis Buñuel. Ebert, a failed screenwriter himself who understood the pitfalls of the industry, was correct when he mentioned something was off about the film. Strangely, the version of Freddy Got Fingered critics saw (and universally detested) wasn’t the real one that Tom Green created.

Related

You Might Have Missed the Best Version of Your Favorite Movie

Most of the time, filmmakers get it right. But what if, by a miscalculation of studio execs or director, a movie used the worst ending?

Why Focus-Testing Groups Are the Bane of Directors Everywhere

All films are subjected to focus test groups, theoretically reflecting a cross-section of the public. In an appearance on Bert Kreischer’s Bertcast podcast in 2020, he blamed test groups, stating he “would have fought a little harder in the editorial stages” when confronted with alterations. As we’ve covered before, the focus phase is the boogeyman of many an auteur who must watch their labor of love mutilated in front of their eyes. Look no further than Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner fiasco for a crash course, the studio-mandated Theatrical Version edit uncorrected for years.
These individuals weren’t his intended audience. Shockingly, the original cut was first screened for the head of New Regency Productions, Arnon Milchan, and Green recalls Milchan loving the initial cut, telling him it was among the finest debut films by any writer/director he had ever seen. High praise Green interpreted as the executive producer’s guarantee he’d maintain the integrity of the initial edit. Not so.
The studio forced alterations to the project because of a gay kiss two days later, compelling editors to slash and shuffle the remaining scenes around the deleted scene, upending the intended narrative vision, the structure, the tone, several running gags, and character interactions. Tom Green’s indie black comedy got Blade Runner-ed. So far as we can tell, there is no original print floating around the internet to compare. The Freddy Got Fingered Director’s Edit will remain lost media for generations to mythologize, perhaps.
Check out the official, censored version on Amazon Prime Video and Apple TV, if you dare.