When Lizzo stepped back from the public eye after being sued by her former tour dancers in 2023, it was intentional.

The rapper-singer recently opened up on Jay Shetty’s On Purpose podcast about how she was “protecting my peace” when she planned to disappear from the spotlight following the “scandal.”

“I had planned on being off-cycle. That means you’re not in the media, you’re not doing interviews. Your album cycle is done,” Lizzo said. “And I think the best, most simplest answer as to why I am back now is ’cause my album’s done. This is my job, you know, I am a musical artist.”

The “About Damn Time” artist continued, “But I think it’s loaded this time because at the exact same time I was like, ‘I’m going on a vacation. I’m gonna be in Japan. I’m gonna go to Kyoto and be in the woods and disappear.’ I also had a huge scandal come out.”

In August 2023, some of Lizzo’s former backup dancers filed a lawsuit against her, claiming they were sexually harassed and victims of a hostile workplace environment. The singer has denied the allegations and later attempted to dismiss the suit but was denied, as the legal battle continues.

While the Grammy winner said it appeared as though she was “silenced or hiding,” it was actually just “the end of my album cycle” for her 2022 album, Special.

“This was planned…I’m in Japan, I’m in the woods, I’m meditating, and oh, this scandal just happened. Where’s Lizzo?” Lizzo said. “So I’m aware of that. I’m cognizant of it, and I’m up for the challenge of explaining this to the people who care about me ’cause they deserve to know, honestly.”

The “Still Bad” singer said she returned home from Japan in October 2023 and jumped back into the studio to make new music. However, around the same time, she didn’t anticipate being hit with a wave of anxiety that she had been suppressing following the “scandal.”

“When I touched down in Los Angeles, it didn’t hit me how deeply affected I was because I had been trying to be happy for everyone else,” Lizzo recounted. “I had my first panic attack ever. I was in the car coming home from the airport and I was like, ‘Something’s wrong with my chest.’ I’ve dealt with anxiety for years, but this felt different.”

She added, “And I had this thought, I was just like, ‘Everybody hates me. Everybody hates me for something that isn’t true.’ But at the end of the day, because of the position I’m in, everybody hates me and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

As a result, Lizzo said she quickly found herself in a “dark” place, “scared of people.” But once she found the courage to enter back into the outside world and build a “community with people,” it helped inspire her upcoming album, Love in Real Life.

“I go through this really, really tough shit man. And it’s fine because I have learned to use my alchemy and turn it into gold and turn it into meaningfulness and acts of rebellious joy that people can use in the world, and I’m cool with it,” she said. “That’s my mission.”