Everybody loves feel-good movies. And we like them even more when they are based on true stories. Life is chaotic, and often we are overwhelmed by the small tragedies of everyday life. So, occasionally, we just want to disconnect from reality and follow characters destined to live happily ever after. That explains the box office success of Cameron Crowe’s We Bought a Zoo, a painfully predictable film that never tries to offer more in two hours than what we can already glimpse from a two-minute trailer.

Starring Matt Damon as Benjamin Mee, We Bought a Zoo tells the surreal story of a man who decides to buy an abandoned zoo, moving with his children to the property. Benjamin poured all the family’s savings into building a home for wild animals and turning it into a profitable and ethical business which is still an example for animal care worldwide. It’s safe to say Benjamin’s inspiring story is definitely worth the Hollywood treatment. Unfortunately, We Bought a Zoo changes his story to force the narrative to fit into the most formulaic structure Crowe could find.
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Image via 20th Century Fox

For instance, in the real world, Benjamin moved to Dartmoor Zoo before the passing of his wife, Katherine, who fell victim to a brain tumor while the whole family worked to open the zoo to the public. In Crowe’s movie, however, Katherine dies six months before Benjamin buys the property. Why? We can only guess, but it might be because dealing with terminal sickness would be too depressing. In addition, they did hire Scarlett Johansson just to waste her talents by making her an almost unidimensional love interesting for Damon. That wouldn’t be possible if Katherine were still alive, right?

Johansson is not the only star cursed with a shallow part in We Bought a Zoo, as the whole movie tries to reduce characters to a single trait that’s supposed to carry them from start to end. A competent cast does everything to keep things afloat, and Damon pours his soul into the character. Still, there’s no strong emotional core to draw our attention, which doesn’t help with Crowe’s script’s complete lack of surprise.

Image via 20th Century Fox

We all know Benjamin will be successful because We Bought a Zoo is that kind of movie. Still, the movie shows there don’t seem to be many challenges in the way of rebuilding an entire zoo, which is a preposterous idea. Even the soundtrack takes away the gravity of any situation, making a venomous snake outbreak or a wild bear on the loose sound like pleasant moments filled with joy. Crowe could have made a small effort to pretend there was any challenge in Mee’s ambitious endeavors, because we can be sure the real story was most certainly filled with hurdles. Instead, we get the same sweet and tender note repeated to exhaustion, which makes We Bought a Zoo overstay its welcoming.

It would be unfair to say a few plot elements aged badly because it’s hard to imagine they were acceptable in 2011. For instance, everyone feels it’s natural for Benjamin to find a new woman to take care of the house after his wife dies. And even though he bravely resists other women’s advances, We Bought a Zoo still spends its first arc underlining how incompetent he is regarding parenting. Because poor of the man who has to, let’s check the list, pack his children’s lunch and buy his son a new backpack all by himself. Fortunately, the movie focuses on the zoo reconstruction instead of tiresome gender cliches. Even so, We Bought a Zoo still finds time to explore an awkward relationship between a 12-years old and a 14-year-old because it’s apparently a rule that a boy and a girl can only coexist if they fall in love with each other.

Image via 20th Century Fox

To make things worse, dialogues in We Bought a Zoo usually sound stiff and incredibly cheesy, leading to many involuntarily funny moments. Crowe also tries to turn more than half the supporting cast into comedic relief, which is not only overkill but also leads to cringe-inducting moments that are more shameful than anything. On that point, John Michael Higgins certainly drew the short stick, as he has to play a grumpy zoo inspector who’s mean for no reason and whose idiosyncrasies are tough to watch.

Despite all its shortcomings, there are wonders to be found in We Bought a Zoo, such as Johansson chuffing at a tiger and Damon running away from a porcupine. Maggie Elizabeth Jones’ Rosie is also a beacon of joy, spreading happiness whenever she appears on the screen. Finally, it’s easy to like We Bought a Zoo because it appeals to common fantasies, like being able to buy your own house or quitting your job and still having enough money to raise two children. Still, there’s no way to hide the lack of substance in We Bought a Zoo, making it hard to justify returning to this decade-old film.m

Rating: C-

We Bought a Zoo is currently available on Disney+ and Hulu.