Travis Scott has addressed one of the live music industry’s deadliest tragedies, which saw the death of 10 people and hundreds injured, in a rare statement as part of a GQ cover story.

Speaking to the magazine for a story published Wednesday as part of its Man of the Year issue, the Houston-born rapper opened up about the process and intent behind his latest album Utopia, as well as making a full return to touring. It’s the first time the rapper has headlined his own tour since a Texas grand jury declined to indict the rapper along with five other individuals over the NRG Park festival concert deaths last June.

Following an 18-month investigation, the Houston Police Department concluded the deadly concert disaster occurred as a result of crowd movement and panic, crushing or injuring a number of the Nov. 5 event’s estimated 50,000 attendees. The Harris County Institute of Forensic Science found the deaths of those 10 individuals was caused by compression asphyxia and were ruled an accident. And the grand jury determined “that no crime did occur, that no single individual was criminally responsible,” according to Harris County District Attorney Kim Ogg.

Scott has remained largely silent on the event beyond an initial statement right after the tragedy and an interview with The Breakfast Club‘s Charlamagne Tha God a month later. But with the release of his latest album, Utopia — in which he addresses the tragedy through his song “My Eyes” — he’s opening up again, and discussing how he feels two years later.

The “90210” and “Goosebumps” rapper says he thought about the event while working on his latest batch of songs, adding that “making music, you think about things that go on in life and things that happen in your life, and you dial in on things.”

“That moment for families, for the city, you know, it was devastating,” he said, more specifically addressing the impact of the deadly concert. “And when it came to making, like even finishing the album… I got back into it probably like, I don’t know, months and months and months after. And the idea of just even getting back into music, working on music and just even getting into that, was therapeutic of being able to channel some of the energy into production and sounds and finishing it.” 

When asked about his mental state following the tragedy, the rapper specifies he was “not at all” in a good place. “I was just overly devastated,” he explained. “I always think about it. Those fans were like my family. You know, I love my fans to the utmost.”

Pressed further about how he’s dealt with it, Scott expresses that, “It has its moments where it gets rough,” he tells the magazine. “You just feel for those people. And their families.”

In “My Eyes,” Scott raps, “I replay them nights, and right by my side, all I see is a sea of people that ride wit’ me. / If they just knew what Scotty would do to jump off the stage and save him a child.” The rapper said it addresses “the things I deal with on a day-to-day basis and the fact of how it could be misunderstood and the struggles of life and all aspects of life. The constant weight that’s put on. That you carry, you know. And just a vision through my eyes.”

“It just came out when I was writing,” he told GQ. “Like I said, it was a real moment. The song is emotional to me. It’s one of my favorite songs on the album. And that verse means a lot to me.”

The Astroworld artist says that when people hear the song, he most hopes they “know I have pain too. I have concerns, things that I think about, and the things I see on a day-to-day basis I think about them. And every day I want to find change in the things, to make things better, make myself better. It’s just like: I go through things like everyone else. And even recently, through something like I never could imagine.”