Candace Owens spent years calling Hunter Biden a crackhead on the internet. Hunter Biden spent years being called a crackhead on the internet by Candace Owens.

And yet somehow, here we are: the two of them sitting across from each other in Owens’ home studio — Brigitte Macron doll in attendance — having what can only be described as one of the stranger hours of content the internet has produced in some time.

The origin story is almost too good. Owens had been trying to land Biden for a while, according to her spokesperson Mitchell Jackson. The breakthrough came at a dinner, when podcaster Shawn Ryan asked Owens to name her dream guest. She said Hunter Biden. Ryan called him the next day.

Days later, Biden was in the chair.

The two cover a lot of ground. Biden denies the cocaine found at the White House in 2023 was his, noting he’s been clean since June 1, 2019, a fact he says was verified by probation officials, who drug tested him for two years.

He also points out he wasn’t even near the visitors entrance where the drugs were found. Owens’ response: “You prefer crack anyways!”

Biden, unfazed: “I would not have forgotten it in a cubby to go into the Situation Room, which I’ve never been in before.”

On the laptop, they find unlikely common ground.

Biden calls the Russian propaganda framing “bullshit” and insists it was never a laptop, but “a hard drive of stolen and hacked material.”

The most unexpectedly candid stretch is on addiction. Owens grew up around it, she says, and pushes back on the assumption that money and privilege insulate anyone from its reach.

Biden doesn’t dispute any of it. He also doesn’t dispute the label Owens spent years attaching to him publicly.

“The truth of the matter is I was a crackhead,” he says plainly. “I say that not to shock people.”

He describes years of public humiliation with a bluntness that lands harder than expected: “They tore off all my clothes, tarred and feathered me and put me in the center of town, and said ‘look at him.’ I survived.”

Owens, to her credit, doesn’t deflect.

“I’m sorry I contributed to that,” she says. “I did partake in the inhumanity.”

There’s also a detour through Charlie Kirk — Biden defends Owens for publicly turning on her former close friend before his assassination last September, while Owens says she still hasn’t forgiven the Trump family for what she believes they did to him.

They close with Biden pitching a joint trip to the Vatican to see the pope. Owens tells him he should go to confession; he assures her he already has.

It’s a fitting ending for an interview that probably shouldn’t exist but somehow does.