Initially released in 2012, Rob Margoiles’s She Wants Me has a lot going for it. There’s disarming sweetness, a careful balancing of tones, and solid lead performances. It is a shame, then, that the meandering jumble of plot happens to be utterly predictable, the writer-director having studied every comedy from the past decade (pre-2012) and packed every cliché he could find into the 85-minute running time.
Aspiring screenwriter Sam (Josh Gad) is dating the girl of his dreams, Sammy (Kristen Ruhlin). “The only unusual thing about Sammy is that she’s only been with one other guy,” Sam narrates. That guy happens to be her ex-husband, hunky Harvard graduate John (Johnny Messner), “whose dick,” Sam states, “is bigger than my thigh.” Intimidated by the man’s presence and not being much of a provider, Sam runs errands for Sammy; “I’m committed to you, you know that, right?” he whispers into her year while she’s asleep one night.
Sensing that he may lose her to the financially stable John, Sam offers Sammy the lead role in his upcoming feature. Sam’s best friend, Max (Aaron Yoo) – the only one who “can get [his] career off the ground” – is upset, as he’s managed to woo A-lister Kim Powers (Hilary Duff) to potentially take that role. This leads to an awkward encounter with Kim at a restaurant, followed by many more (in what probably amounted to a day of shooting for Ms. Duff). Things get more convoluted, though no less hackneyed. Following a series of overwritten circumstances, John incredulously invites himself over to stay with the couple, offering to pay a month’s rent. He meets Sam’s friends, which leads to more awkwardness. “Man up,” John tells Sam in his kitchen.
Somehow, She Wants Me has even more narratives at play. Sammy gets her dream job at a theatre play but has to move to NYC. “The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody,” one of Sam’s friends encourages. Sam meets another too-good-to-be-true woman:” the techno-music-loving Gwen (Melonie Diaz) at a party. Her affinity for techno and cats throws him off. “You’re a really cool girl. I’m just not over somebody else,” he tells her. More stuff happens. There is a Thanksgiving scene in the final third.

“Sensing that he may lose her to the financially stable John, Sam offers Sammy the lead role in his upcoming feature.”
The plot never quite knows exactly where it’s heading despite adhering to every adage in the rom-com book. It ultimately arrives at an ending that’s as contrived as it is head-scratching. What lessons have been learned? What was the main character’s arc? Among many questions, Sammy’s ignorance when it comes to her ex staying with her and her boyfriend is confounding. Why Sam would agree to such an emasculating act remains a mystery as well.
Margoiles resorts to techniques that were banal and juvenile back in 2012, such as the protagonist breaking the fourth wall and amateurishly theatrical interludes. These tepid offerings aren’t helped by the bland camerawork that cloaks the proceedings with a distinct whiff of shabbiness. Things haven’t aged well, particularly the way women are mostly viewed as commodities, trophies, without much of a say of their own.
To reiterate my initial point concerning She Wants Me: it’s too bad, so much of it is bad, as it’s not all bad. Gad has genuine chemistry with Ruhlin (although he’s the more experienced actor). While not quite Apatow (whom he adoringly references), the filmmaker manages to pull off the sweet-raunchy balance for which he clearly strives. Genuinely funny moments are scattered throughout, among a few touching ones. Take the scene that involves Sam taking out the trash while Sammy bonds with John over birthday presents. If only the rest of the film was as sharply observant, laconic, biting, and smart.
As lame as it is truthful, She Wants Me is exactly halfway there.